Small Things with Great Love — Tree Pee

by twinink on August 15, 2010

We’ve all heard the term “if it’s yellow, let it mellow.”  We’ve probably all at some point gotten into fights with mothers or significant others over the disgusting radioactive quality of our unflushed toilets.  And yet we all know how incredibly wasteful a toilet flush is.  A household that avoids one flush a day, can save up to 4,380 litres of water annually.  And to think, there are millions of people  who don’t get even half that amount of clean water to use for all their drinking, washing, cleaning, flushing needs.

That said, I’ve devised an incredibly simple alternative to avoid toilets, arguments and water-waste all together… Tree Pee!

Kids do it.  Dogs do it.  Shamelessly drunk people do it.  Why not us?  Think about it, we are designed with a natural watering system built in.  And it is a crime that we waste all that nutrient rich liquid by flushing it away with even more gallons of clean, potable water.

So I suggest, from now on, every time you feel the urge to drain the dragon, avoid the porcelain and aim for the great outdoors.  Hopefully you have a backyard.  If not, maybe a nearby park.  Or your neighbor’s prize rhodendrum bush.  Trust me, the plants will thank you.  Your dragon will thank you (everyone knows dragons love trees).  Even the birds will sing your praises.

It’s a no brainer.  A win-win-win.  You avoid flushing, you get a breath of fresh air and a spontaneous commune with nature.  You water the thirsty plants.  You may even (if you’re lucky) feel the cool refreshing high-five of the breeze thanking you for your good deed.

And ladies, don’t think I’m preaching here solely to the boy’s choir.  Trees have big roots with nice handholds that make it easy, and quite pleasant to squat down between.  Plus you get an incredible thigh and upper quad workout!   The girls at the gym will be outrageously jealous.

So, next time you find yourself rushing to the bathroom, fire hose at the ready, think about if maybe there is a real fire you could put out.  Or a patch of dirt in desperate need of nourishment and grass.  Multitask.  Use your pee for good.

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